


Like a Journey I Just Don’t Have a Map For

by Squeaky



Series: I'll Point You Home [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, But also a bit of a goof, Clint Is a Good Bro, F/M, Fate, M/M, Momma Barnes is awesome, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 03:55:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6358054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squeaky/pseuds/Squeaky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam just turned twenty six and he still doesn't have any soulmarks. He'll never have a soulmate.</p><p>Becca has soulmarks but they're illegible. Even if she has a soulmate, she'll never be able to find him. </p><p>When Sam and Becca meet they are immediately drawn to each other. But no matter how right it feels they know they can't be soulmates. She's marked and he's not. They're just not destined to be together.</p><p>Luckily for both of them however, Clint's got a heart of gold and Momma Barnes doesn't need a map.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like a Journey I Just Don’t Have a Map For

**Author's Note:**

> As with the first two fics in this series, this fic is inspired by [ Words on my skin, love in my heart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1759835/chapters/3762741) by amusewithaview. It's a great way to start your soulmate fic addiction.
> 
> As always, I really want to thank my incredible beta [ Taste_is_Sweet ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Taste_is_Sweet/pseuds/Taste_is_Sweet). It took me two years to finish this and it never would've happened without her. She makes the magic happen.
> 
> The title is lovingly borrowed from [ To the Moon and Back](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zD8KvL1aFNQ) by Savage Garden.
> 
> * * *

“I’m sorry,” Bruce said.

Sam nodded, the sudden lump in his throat making him reluctant to speak. “Not your fault,” he croaked.

“It’s not the end of the world, not having a soulmark.” Bruce stood from his desk chair, fiddling with the glasses in his hand. “A lot of people form meaningful relationships without—“

“We’re less than five percent of the population.” 

“Okay, maybe not a _lot_ of people,” Bruce amended. “But for sure you can still have a relationship—“

“It’s okay, Doc.” Sam held up his hand to stop Bruce’s words. It was a week after his twenty sixth birthday and he’d woken up as soulmark-less that morning as he’d had every morning since the day he was born. He’d come to Bruce’s office at the V.A. during a break between patients, idly curious about what it meant to be without a soulmark so late in life. Now he wished he’d never come at all. “I just didn’t realize the percentages were so bad.”

“They’re not zero. Just because it’s less than three percent that a person will get their soulmark after the age of twenty five doesn’t mean you won’t.” Bruce started patting down the pockets of his lab coat and then he turned to his desk. “I’m sure I have some pamphlets somewhere…”

“It’s okay,” Sam said again. The idea of reading a pamphlet about other people in his sorry state made him feel sick. “Like you said. It’s not the end of the world.” 

“No, it’s not.” Bruce sounded relieved by Sam’s apparent acceptance of his fate. “And hey, you might be one of the lucky ones.”

 _Lucky three percent,_ Sam thought bitterly. Not much chance of that. “So true,” he said instead. He gestured back towards the door, suddenly desperate to leave. “I should go see if my next client has arrived.” 

“Of course.” Bruce nodded. “If you ever want to talk—Ah! Here they are!” He grabbed some pamphlets off his table “Here, take these.”

“Thanks,” Sam took the offered pamphlets, immediately folding them up and putting them into his back pocket. “And if I ever want to talk I know where to find you.” He hoped his smile didn’t look as false as it felt. He left and went directly to the staff washroom, locking the door firmly before he went to the mirror, gripping the edge of the sink tightly enough to make his knuckles go pale as he stared at his reflection.

He was twenty six years old and markless. He was never going to have a soulmate. He’d never find the love and companionship that his best friends Steve and Clint had with their partners. It was written on his skin: he was destined to be alone.

“No.” He wiped fiercely at his eyes with the side of his hand. He didn’t want to believe that. He _refused_ to believe it. He was a counsellor for Christ's sake! He spent his working hours helping people regain their optimism and hope when all seemed lost. He refused to succumb to his own despair. 

“It’s not over,” he said to his reflection. “Not by a longshot.”

People without soulmarks _could_ build relationships and find love. He’d find someone. He’d just have to look a bit harder.

Sam splashed some water on his face, removing all trace of his tears. “It’s not over,” he repeated. He could do this.

And he’d keep telling himself that until it felt like it was true.

* * *

“You’ve been hiding in here for _weeks!_ It’s enough.” Bucky grabbed Becca’s blanket in both hands and pulled it sharply off her bed.

Becca shrieked and reached for it, grabbing the edge just before it was wrenched out of her grasp. She latched on to it and pulled back, trying to free it from the inhumanly strong grip of her brother’s prosthetic left arm. “Bucky, quit it!”

“You quit it! Quit this hiding thing you’re doing. It’s been weeks, Becca!” He tugged harder and she was pulled half-way across the length of the bed. 

“Ow! My leg!” 

He immediately let go. “OhmyGod!” he said in a rush. “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” she said, pulling the blanket up and settling herself deep underneath it. 

She could just _feel_ his disapproving frown. “I can’t believe you just did that.” 

Becca hunched her shoulders underneath the blanket, feeling a strange combination of guilt and pride at her success. Her leg had been injured just before Christmas, when her soulmark came in. Normally they just appeared on the surface of the skin, but a genetic anomaly ran in her family that sometimes caused a soulmark to form too deeply and then tear its way to the surface, causing massive bleeding. It had killed their uncle when he’d been a child in Romania, and except for the quick thinking of Clint and Natasha, her badly-formed soulmark might have caused her death, too. She’d survived, but the only remnant she had of her mark was a twisted scar on her right thigh without even a visible letter. The injury didn’t actually hurt anymore—not physically—but it hurt her every time she looked at it. 

“I only did it because you wouldn’t leave me alone.” 

She heard Bucky sigh. “Becca, you graduated in May, why aren’t you out looking for a job?”

“I am,” she protested from under the covers. It wasn’t _exactly_ a lie. She’d keyed up ‘Monster.com’ a few days ago and spent at _least_ five minutes looking up ‘linguist’ on their job board. She’d even found a job posting in New York that didn’t involve the National Guard. She’d even thought about applying. 

“Looking on the internet for five minutes doesn’t count,” he said with unerring accuracy. She didn’t reply, and after a few moments of silence she felt the bed indent as he sat down. “Becca,” he said softly. “You’ve got to stop this.”

“I’m not doing anything.” Her voice was muffled by the blanket.

“That’s my point.” His exasperation was clear. “It’s like, now that you’ve graduated university you’ve just…given up.” 

“Have not,” she muttered.

“Then why aren’t you out there? Handing out resumés or at least hanging with your friends? It’s summertime, Becca, why aren’t you enjoying it?”

“I like my bed.” 

“In June?” His tone was incredulous. 

“I’m tired, okay?” She rolled onto her side, her head still completely covered. There was a few minutes of blissful silence. 

She heard Bucky clear his throat. “It’s because of your soulmark, isn’t it?”

Becca closed her eyes against the rush of pain his statement brought. Her lack of a soulmark had been the elephant in the room for a while now. She’d managed to ignore it while school was finishing. She’d had papers to write and exams to study for and it was easy enough to push her loveless future out of her mind. But as soon as she’d received her degree all her distraction was gone, the loss of her soulmark was all she could think about. It didn’t surprise her at all that Bucky’d figured it out. He was her twin after all, closer to her than anyone. She balled the blanket up against her face, trying to contain her sob.

“Becca…” Bucky patted her leg through the blanket. “Don’t cry.” 

“I’m not!” She wiped her eyes on the inside of her blanket. 

“You don’t need to feel sad about this.” She could hear his desperation as she tried to make her feel better. “Do you remember when I lost my arm?”

“Of course.” He’d lost his left arm about a year ago after being hit by a car when they were travelling together in Paris. She would never forget the horrific vision of him lying on his back in a pool of blood. 

“My soulmarks used to be on that arm. You remember that?”

She rolled her eyes even though he couldn’t see it. She knew where this was going. “Yeah.” 

“Do you remember how sad I was after I lost my arm? What you said to me?”

“This is different.” 

Of course Bucky ignored her. “You said that soulmarks only exist so that we’ll be able to easily recognize our soulmates when we see them. But you also said that the marks don’t matter because our souls know each other on a deeper level. You remember?”

“It’s different,” she repeated. “You’d already met your soulmate before you lost your arm. Twice.”

“But I was so sure that I’d never see Steve again once my marks were gone. Your words made all the difference to me. Your words made me feel like I’d be able to find him again, Becca.” He shook her leg. “You were right.”

It was getting hot under the blanket so she lowered it to just below her chin, rolling so she could see him. “It’s different!”

“How?” Bucky demanded. “I lost my soulmarks and you did, too. How is that different?”

She sat up to shout at him. “Because you knew what yours said! You already knew what Steve was going to say to you! Hell! You’d _already met him!_ It was easy for you to find him again!” 

“It wasn’t easy!” Bucky said, affronted. “You know that!”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh right, because thinking of your words and pointing at a map was _so hard._ ”

“I had no proof that it was going to work! It was you and what you said about soulmarks that even made me want to try.” 

“But you already knew what your words said!” she exploded. “ _You knew exactly what to say before pointing at the map!_ I don’t have that! I don’t have _any_ of that!” Angrily she wiped at the tears that were forcing their way past her lids. 

“But your souls—“

“No.” Becca cut him off. “I have no marks, which means I have no way of recognizing my soulmate. They could walk right in front of me and I’d never know.” 

“That’s not true,” Bucky said flatly. “Your souls will know. You told me that.”

She thinned her lips. “I lied.” 

He glowered. “Bullshit.”

“Whatever.” She flopped back down on the bed. 

“Well you sure as hell won’t find them moping around in here.” He pulled her blanket off again, but this time he scooped it up under his arm so she couldn’t grab it. “Go take a shower. I’m taking you out.”

“What if I don’t want to go?”

“Then you’ll never get your blanket back,” he said as he backed out of the room. “And you know how mom likes to crank the air conditioning.” 

She sat up. “Bucky you bastard! Bring that back!”

“You’re blanket’s really nice,” Bucky said musingly. “Maybe I’ll take it back to my place, share it with Steve…”

“Bucky!” she hollered. 

“Twenty minutes!” he hollered back. 

“I hate you!” 

“I hate you, too.” He blew her a kiss. “So much.”

* * *

Bucky, in an astounding example of accidental insensitivity, took Becca out for brunch with his friends. His soulmarked friends, with their soulmates. 

Becca hated him.

“I don’t think he meant to upset you.” Steve leaned halfway across the diner’s table to speak to her in a near whisper even though Bucky had already left to go to the washroom. “I think he just wanted you to come out.”

Becca shrugged and took another sip of her iced tea. She’d never really developed a taste for coffee, which Bucky gave her no end of grief about. Clearly he lived to cause her grief. “Considering we were talking about it _this morning_ he might’ve thought about it a little.” 

Steve was Bucky’s soulmate. They’d first met when Steve was nine and Bucky was ten, and then lost each other for over twelve years until a combination of fate, friends and a map brought them together again. Becca totally adored Steve. He was kind and sweet and generous to a fault and really easy to talk to. Steve claimed that was because he was a nurse, but Becca was pretty sure he’d been born an excellent listener. 

“I think he’d had this planned for a while,” Steve continued to defend his soulmate. “I’m sure if he’d known in advance how much the loss of your soulmark bothered you, he’d never have invited you.” 

Becca shrugged again. Steve was probably right, but it still sucked sitting at the diner’s large table and being the only one who wasn’t part of a soulmarked couple. 

“I’m just kind of feeling like a third wheel.” Becca poked her ice with her straw and very pointedly did _not_ look at the other side of the table where Clint and Natasha were cooing and giggling with each other over the breakfast menu of all things. It was great that they were happy and in love, but still. 

“You’re feeling left out?” 

Becca shrugged one shoulder, still poking at her ice. “I am the only person not paired up here.” 

“Wilson’s coming, too.” Bucky slid onto the curved bench seat beside her. 

Becca turned to him. “Who’s Wilson?”

“Our roommate,” Steve supplied. 

“Why haven’t I met him?”

“You did.” Bucky frowned. “No, wait. He came to the hospital when you were injured, but I think you were asleep when he was there.” 

“But he’s your roommate, and I’m at your place all the time!” Becca looked between Steve and Bucky. 

Steve shrugged. “He works a lot?”

“He’s a social worker for both the V.A. and Maria Stark Memorial,” Bucky added. “He’s a shift worker, like Steve. But you’ll meet him today.” He grinned.

“He’s not seeing anyone either…” Steve trailed off with a confused expression as Bucky started making slashing motions across his throat and then stopped abruptly when Becca narrowed her eyes at him.

“Bucky,” she said. “Is this a set-up?” 

“Why would you think that?” Bucky’s smile was far too casual.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Becca drawled. “Maybe because Wilson and I are the only single people in your group of friends? Or maybe it was because of the way you violently tried to stop Steve from mentioning that fact?”

“Never even thought about it,” Bucky lied. 

Becca pinned Steve with her gaze. “Steve?”

Steve blanched. “Uh.”

“It is a setup! Bucky!”

Bucky put his hands up. “He’s a nice guy, Becca. What’s wrong with you meeting one of my single friends?” 

“He’s you’re _only_ single friend!” Becca hissed at him. 

“That’s not true!” 

“Actually, it is.” Clint leaned over Natasha to tell him. He winced at Bucky’s murderous glare. “Sorry.”

“He really is a nice guy,” Steve said. “I’ve been best friends with him since I was nine.” 

“That’s great.” Becca was still angry. “That’s fantastic. Glad to hear that the only single guy you know is a real peach.”

“What’s the problem?” Bucky frowned at her. “You were bitching this morning about not having your soulmarks, and now you’re complaining about meeting a nice single guy? What’s your issue?”

“Bucky!” Steve admonished, but Becca was already on her feet. 

“The only problem here is that I was stupid enough to tell you how I felt about losing my soulmarks!” Becca felt the hot prick of tears against her eyelids and she blinked rapidly. She’d be damned if she cried in front of her brother and all his soulmarked friends. She grabbed her bag off the back of the chair and pulled out her wallet, throwing a twenty onto the table. “That should cover my meal.” 

Everyone else was also standing. “Please don’t leave,” Steve said. 

“Tell it to Bucky!” Becca said stupidly, and stomped towards the exit. She hoped Bucky wasn’t dumb enough to follow her, but she moved faster just in case, too angry to want to deal with her ass of a brother. 

She ducked around a waitress carrying a full tray of food and was out the door as fast as she could go without running. Which meant that she bumped into someone coming in hard enough that they both staggered back. 

“Sorry!” He said, catching her elbows with his hands. 

A flare of pain shot through her right thigh and she cried out as the muscle spasmed. “Ow!”

He held her weight until she regained her footing, moving her out of the way of the door. “You okay?”

She nodded, looking up at him, and then she had to forcefully remind herself to shut her mouth. 

He was one of the most gorgeous men she’d ever seen. 

He was tall and very handsome, with wide, laughing eyes and a brilliant smile framed by a neat goatee. His cheekbones were sharp enough to cut herself on. His shoulders were broad and even though his t-shirt wasn’t tight, it still stretched appealingly across his muscles. He was supporting nearly her whole weight as if it were nothing. 

“You’re eyes are beautiful,” he said, and then blushed. 

“So are yours.” She smiled back. They were, dark and deep enough to drown in. She’d be happy looking at him forever.

“Uh, your leg okay?” He asked after they’d spent way too long just looking into each other’s eyes. 

“Oh, yeah. I think it was just a muscle spasm,” she said reluctantly as he let go of her arms. 

“My name’s Sam.” He held his hand out for her to shake. 

“Rebecca.” She used her full name because ‘Becca’ was her brother’s nickname for her and right now she was too angry at him to use it. She shook his hand. 

Her leg flared again, brief and hot, making her frown. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“My leg.” Becca looked down at her thigh. ‘I must’ve bumped you harder than I thought.” 

“Totally my bad.” He grinned at her. “I really have to make this up to you. I’m meeting my friends for breakfast. Would you like to join me?“

Becca was tempted. Very, very tempted. But the idea of walking back into the restaurant and having to face her brother and his friends and meet this ‘Wilson’ guy was nothing close to what she wanted to do right that second. “I’m sorry,” she said instead. “I wish I could, but…”

“Can I have your number then?” Sam licked his lips. “Or is that way too forward for literally bumping into you in a doorway?”

“No.” Becca grinned at him. “It’s perfect.”

* * *

Bucky was already there when Becca came back to their mom's house.

He stood as she entered into the kitchen. “Becca?”

“Bucky!” She smiled at him, all her anger from that morning having faded after her meeting Sam. 

“I’m really sorry, Becca,” he said. “I got you something.” 

There was a bouquet of flowers in a vase on the table, and a takeout container from the diner, and a small stuffed bear. 

Becca looked at the multitude of presents and then looked at her brother. “You got me this?”

He shrugged. “You never got breakfast. And then Wilson said that flowers were always a good way to tell a woman you were sorry. The bear was Steve’s idea.” 

Becca scooped up the small bear. It was cuddly and very soft, like something you’d give to a small child. She loved it immediately and hugged it to her chest. “I love Steve.” 

Bucky grinned. “Get in line.” 

Becca inspected the flowers. They were a mixture of sweet yellow blossoms that made Becca immediately think of sunshine. They smelled incredible. “These were Wilson’s idea?”

“Told you that you should meet him.” 

Becca raised one eyebrow. 

Bucky’s grin turned hopeful. “Apology accepted?”

“Apology accepted,” Becca agreed. “You’re lucky you have such great friends.”

“Not as great as my sister,” Bucky said.

Becca rolled her eyes.

* * *

They were about three and a half beers in each when Sam decided he could broach the subject.

“So,” he said, hoping his tone sounded conversational rather than totally desperate, “would any of you guys date someone without a soulmark, if you already had one?” He was thinking about Rebecca and her incredible grey-blue eyes. Ninety-five percent of the population had soulmarks after all; there was no way that she’d also be in the unlucky five percent. 

Steve looked up from the intensely competitive game of Mario Kart he had going on with Clint. “Did you meet someone?”

Clint lit up like a Christmas tree. “Did you get your _soulmark?_ ” 

“No.” Sam dropped his gaze. 

“Well, not _yet,_ ” Clint corrected him. “You’re sure to get it.” 

“Sure,” Sam forced himself to agree with Clint. After his talk with Bruce he wasn’t feeling nearly that optimistic. 

Bucky sat up from where he’d had his head in Steve’s lap, moving his knees from where they were bent over the couch’s armrest. “But you met someone.”

Sam shrugged, but he couldn’t help the smile that curled up his lips. He didn’t know Rebecca that well yet, but she was _fantastic._

“You met someone!” Steve put down his controller. “Sam!”

“Damn.” Bucky grinned. “I wanted you to hook up with my sister.” 

“Sorry.” Sam couldn’t help his smile. “Fate had other ideas.” 

“About that,” Bucky said. “She has a soulmark already?”

“Probably. I mean most people do, right?”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“That’s why I asked the question,” Sam said to Bucky. “I don’t have soulmarks—“

“Yet!” Clint cut in.

“—Yet,” Sam added, “but she probably does. So, do I risk it? Or not?”

Bucky’s expression was eloquent in its disapproval. “If you don’t have her words on you, then you’re not soulmates. It ain’t gonna work.”

Steve looked at his boyfriend. “Since when are you so unromantic?”

“Yeah, way to put a damper on everything.” Clint frowned at him.

“Look, I’m not trying to be a downer here,” Bucky said. “But let’s face facts. Everyone knows that people are meant to be with their soulmate. That’s why we have them. Why would you risk dating someone who has a soulmate, if that soulmate ain’t you?”

“But what if you are soulmates?” Clint said. “I mean, why can’t Sam be this girl’s soulmate, even though she already has her marks?”

“Because I don’t have any marks,” Sam said. He leaned back in his chair, feeling defeated. “Well, shit.”

“Don’t listen to Bucky,” Steve said. “I think all sorts of relationships can work. I mean, why do people have to just be with their soulmates, anyway? We can make our own fate.” 

“Yeah!” Clint agreed vehemently. “Make your own destiny!”

“Make your own destiny.” Sam found himself smiling. “I like the sound of that.”

“Yeah, it _sounds_ great,” Bucky said. “But that ain’t the way it works. Fate, or God or the Universe has picked out our soulmates for us, and those are the people we’re meant to be with. If you’re hooking up with someone you’re not meant for, you’re in for a world of hurt.”

“So what are you saying?” Sam's temper began to rise. “That because I don’t have any soulmarks I’m destined for a life of loneliness? That Fate or God or the Universe or whatever has decided that I don’t deserve love?” 

“That’s not what I’m saying—“

“Then what _are_ you saying, Bucky?” Sam interrupted. “Because right now all you’re saying is that I shouldn’t date anyone without soulmarks, and we’re less than five percent of the population!” He hated how Bruce’s statistic had been burned into his mind. 

“I’m saying you can’t fight Destiny!” Bucky said. “I’m a perfect example of that! I walked away from Steve—from my soulmate—when I was ten and the Universe _took my arm_ to force us to be together! You can’t tell me that we can ‘make our own fate!’ It doesn’t work!”

Steve was looking at him with horror in his eyes. “You think you lost your arm because that was the only way the Universe had of us being together?”

“Well, yeah.” Bucky shrugged. “How else would you’ve found me in Paris if I wasn’t bleeding all over the sidewalk? You would’ve walked right past me otherwise.”

Steve was shaking his head before Bucky even finished. “No, no way. I remember that day. My soulmarks were burning on my back way before you got hit by the car.” Steve’s voice was rising in panic with every word. “I remember looking right at you before the car hit you. I remember—“ 

“Whoa, Steve.” Sam put his hands out towards his friends. “Everything’s okay now.”

“Yeah,” Bucky put his arm around Steve’s shoulders, pulling him into a hug. “I’m right here.” 

“You can’t tell me that Fate wanted you to be injured like that.” Steve clutched Bucky tightly. “There’s no way that Fate would be that cruel.”

“Well Fate took my sister’s soulmarks,” Bucky said. “That was fucking cruel.” 

“But you guys found each other. Like I found Natasha, even though she wasn’t sure she even wanted to be with me. And your sister _had_ soulmarks, so her soulmate is out there, and for sure they’ll find each other,” Clint said, pathetically hopeful. “Because that’s the way it works. Right?”

“Yeah, that’s right.” Steve gently disengaged from Bucky’s arms. “But I think it’s also true that you make the life you want. Soulmarks are important, for sure, but I can’t believe that people without soulmarks would be destined for a life of loneliness. Because the Universe can’t be that cruel.”

“Sure.” Bucky took a long pull of his beer. “Not cruel. Whatever.”

An unpleasant silence followed Bucky’s words.

“Are you sure you don’t have any soulmarks?” 

Sam turned to Clint. “I think I’d be pretty sure about something like that.”

“But you said it’s only five percent of the population that _didn’t_ have one,” Clint continued, obviously using his huge math brain. “That means that ninety-five percent of people _do._ It means the odds of _not_ having one are really, really small. Like, you’re one of only 350 _million_ people in the whole world. Really, what’s the chance of that?”

“One in 350 million,” Sam said dryly. 

Clint frowned at him, but then smiled. “I bet you any money that you have a soulmark.” 

“I don’t.” 

“I bet you do!” 

“I _don’t!_ ” Sam insisted. “What, do you think I haven’t checked?”

Clint narrowed his eyes. “Did you check the soles of your feet?”

“Of course!”

“Back of your knees? In between your toes?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “I can see there.” 

“Tips of your elbows? Nape of your neck? Behind your ears?”

“I have a mirror and I think you guys might’ve told me if I had one there.” 

“What about _inside_ your ears?”

“What? Like _inside_ inside?”

Steve perked up. “Does that happen? I thought soulmarks had to be somewhere visible.”

“The inside of your ears are visible,” Clint said. “You just need one of those scope-y things.”

“You mean an otoscope?” Steve said. 

“Yeah!” Clint said happily. “Do you have one?”

Steve laughed. “It’s not typical nursing equipment.” 

“I’m pretty sure there’s nothing there,” Sam said. He was relieved that Clint had once again managed to bring up the mood. 

“Have you shaved your head?”

“Well, no. But—“

“What about the crack of your ass?” Bucky said with a smirk.

“That’s a great idea!” Clint enthused. “We should check!”

“No way!” Sam protested immediately. “No one is checking there!”

“Under your testicles?” Bucky said helpfully, “maybe inside your foreskin?”

“I really think we should check,” Clint said again. “And shave your head, too.”

Steve was laughing so hard he was crying. “You should probably let him, Sam,” he forced out between guffaws. “Your future happiness could be riding on this.”

“I think I’ll stick with being part of the lucky five percent,” Sam groused. 

“Hey,” Clint said, like a thought had just struck him. “If Fate pairs up people with soulmarks on purpose, maybe it does the same for people without soulmarks! Maybe this girl is part of that five percent too!”

Sam blinked. Could he really be that lucky?

“So, this girl with—or without—soulmarks,” Bucky said. “You gonna text her?”

“Yeah,” Sam said. “I think I am.”

* * *

When Becca woke up the next morning there was a text waiting on her phone.

Becca scooped up her phone and squealed in delight. 

It was Sam. She’d labeled him ‘Deep Brown Eyes,’ because she never wanted to forget. **Hi Rebecca.** The time stamp said that he’d sent it sometime around midnight. He was thinking about her late at night, maybe even while he was in bed. The idea made her blush.

 **Hi!,** she texted back. She wiggled on her bed in excitement. 

**Hi!** appeared almost immediately. 

**Hi!** she responded. “I have no chill,” she muttered to herself, but she couldn’t stop smiling.

 **I should probably be more chill about this,** he wrote, which made her laugh, **but I’d really like to see you. Would you like to go out for coffee sometime?**

Becca gave up all semblance of being coy. She hated coffee but for Sam she’d make an exception. She thought she’d make an exception for him for a lot of things. **Yes! When and where?**

 **I’m working tomorrow but we could meet for lunch? Maybe 11:30?**

She squealed again. She’d sort of left the next day open for job hunting but lunch with Sam was definitely more important. **Yes!** she wrote again. **Where?**

He named her favourite little independent hipster coffee place that also made great tea, and she squealed for a third time. _It’s like he’s my soulmate!_ she thought. 

Her mood crashed. He wasn’t her soulmate. He _couldn’t_ be. She didn’t have any soulmarks. There was no way that he didn’t have them. Everyone had soulmarks. 

There was really no point in them even trying. They weren’t meant to be together. 

Suddenly she didn’t feel like squealing so much anymore. She put the phone down and pulled the covers back up over her head.

Her phone pinged a few moments later. She didn’t even look.

* * *

“Becca!” Bucky moaned at the side of her bed less than an hour later. “You’re not even up!”

“I’m awake,” she mumbled from underneath her bedcovers. A thought struck her and she lowered the blanket to look at him. “You moved out. Why are you here?”

“I’m taking you for a run,” he said. “I texted you half an hour ago to tell you.”

“Don’t you have to be at work?”

“I’m taking a flex day.” He poked her in the shoulder. “C’mon. Get up.”

“No.” She pulled the covers over her head again. 

“C’mon. Exercise is a great way to start the day.”

“I don’t exercise.”

“Becca!” He whined. “You said you’d come!”

She lowered the blankets again. “No I didn’t!”

Bucky picked up the phone from her bedside table. “Yes you did. It’s right—who’s this guy?”

“None of your business!” She grabbed for the phone.

“Deep Brown Eyes?” He looked at her. “Really?”

“His eyes are pretty, okay? Now give me back my phone!”

He held it out of her reach, especially as she was still lying in bed. “Looks like you’ve got a hot date planned! Oooh, I like this coffee place.” He grinned at her. “Maybe I should go.”

“You have a boyfriend.” She frowned at him. “Give it.”

He was frowning, too, but down at the phone. “You haven’t texted him back.”

“Of course not.” She started playing with a loose thread on the edge of her blanket. “We’re not soulmates.”

Bucky tilted his head. “How do you know that?”

“Because I don’t have any soulmarks!” She said, exasperated. “So we can’t be soulmates! So unless I _want_ my heart broken into itty-bitty pieces, there’s no point in us going out.”

“What are you talking about? You totally have soulmarks! They’re right here, on your leg!” He threw back the covers and jabbed her in her thigh where the scars of her former soulmarks were visible under the hem of her nightgown.

“Bucky!” She tried to pull the nightgown down to cover the puckered skin. 

“Your soulmarks are here!” he repeated. “That looks like an ‘r’ right there. Or maybe a ‘u’. And that letter has to be a ‘y’—“ 

“There’s nothing there, Bucky!” Becca yelled at him. “Maybe there was, before it burst through my skin and nearly _killed_ me, but now there’s nothing! _Nothing!_ I don’t have any soulmarks and you have to stop saying I do!”

“Okay, okay.” He raised his hands in surrender. “Fine. Despite the letters _clearly_ on your thigh, you don’t have any soulmarks. Okay.”

“Finally,” she said. 

“You’re still going for a run with me.” He picked up her phone.

Becca rolled her eyes. “If it will get you to shut up. And give me back my phone.”

He tossed it to her. “Oh, and I confirmed your date with Mr. Pretty Eyes, by the way. You can thank me later.”

“ _What?_ ” she screeched. “Bucky! What did I just tell you?”

“I don’t care what you say! You do have soulmarks! And maybe this guy’s your soulmate, or maybe not, but if you keep sulking in your room you’re never going to meet anybody! So you’re going running with me now and you’re having coffee with that guy tomorrow, and that’s final!”

Becca’s expression turned mutinous. “You are _not_ the boss of me, James Buchanan Barnes.”

“Maybe not, Rebecca Wallis Barnes,” he said. “But mom is. And if you’re not out of bed in two minutes? I’m going to tell her all about your boyfriend.”

Becca’s eyes widened in horror. “You wouldn’t dare!”

“And maybe Steve, too,” Bucky continued thoughtfully. “He’s always been pretty keen on your love life.” He sauntered out the door.

“Bucky!” She screamed after him.

“Two minutes, Becca!” He shouted back.

“I hate you!” She yelled.

“I hate you, too,” he yelled back. “So much.”

* * *

When Rebecca arrived at the coffee shop, Sam felt like he was experiencing sunshine after a lifetime of rain. 

She was luminescent. Her hair, her skin, the extraordinary blue of her eyes, every part of her looked like it was glowing with an inner light. _I am so fucked,_ he thought. He was half in love with her already and he hadn’t even learned her full name yet. 

It was going to be devastating when she dropped him for the guy who actually had her words on his skin.

But until that awful moment he was going to relish every second he had with this amazing woman. He stepped forward to hug her. 

Halfway through his step forward he realized that since barely knew her, maybe hugging might be a little more stalker-y than he intended. He tried to abort his momentum to change it to a straightforward handshake and stamped down on her toes instead. 

“Ow!” Her incredible eyes widened in pain.

“Sorry!” he said desperately. The inside of his bottom lip burned for a moment and he poked the area with his tongue. 

She was holding his forearms for balance, her mouth still open with her ‘ow,’ and her eyes still wide, but this time he knew it had nothing to do with pain. It was like there were firecrackers going off up and down his spine. 

“Sorry,” he murmured again as he bent down and kissed her.

* * *

“…And then she invited me to her friend’s party on the fourth of July,” Sam finished. 

He was standing in Bruce’s office at the V.A., telling him about the time he’d just spent with Rebecca. The kiss had just been the start of an incredible date. She’d giggled, and then kissed him back, sweetly and passionately. She wasn’t his first kiss, not by a long shot, but until that moment he hadn’t really understood what all the fuss had been about. 

Now he knew, and he never wanted to kiss anyone else, ever again.

It’d been hard, but he’d managed to disengage his lips from hers and escorted her into the coffee shop. He’d bought them lunch, but he’d been so nervous—so _excited_ —to be with her that he’d actually forgotten to eat. They’d talked and talked about everything and nothing until Sam realized that he was minutes away from being late for work, and reluctantly they’d parted.

“She invited you to a party with all her friends?” 

“Yes.” Sam’s face hurt from smiling. “She wants me to meet them!”

“That’s great,” Bruce said, not sounding like it was great at all. “And she did this after she found out you don’t have any soulmarks?”

Sam opened his mouth and then shut it again. “Shit.”

“You forgot to tell her?”

“I forgot to tell her. Damn it!” Sam swore. “I meant to tell her! I really did! I just—“

“Got caught up in her big blue eyes. I heard.” Bruce started cleaning his glasses on the edge of his shirt. “You really need to tell her, Sam.”

“I know. I really meant to.” He put his hands on his hips. “Damn.” 

“You can’t meet all her friends without her knowing.” Bruce adjusted his glasses. “It’ll make it harder for you if—well, you know.”

Sam made a face. He _did_ know. It would be harder for her to break up with him if she had to explain to all her friends why that ‘great guy’ they met wasn’t in the picture. She’d feel duped. Used. Maybe even betrayed if she was already thinking they were soulmates when he was part of the unlucky five percent who had no marks at all. Like he was pretending he was her soulmate when he couldn’t be anyone’s. 

“I’ll tell her,” Sam sighed. “I’ll text her after work tonight.” He couldn’t help the heaviness that settled around his heart. 

“She might be fine with it,” Bruce said.

“Sure.” 

“At least it gives you a good reason to contact her again?”

Sam laughed humourlessly. “Silver linings.”

“Hey, isn’t July fourth Steve’s birthday party as well?” Bruce asked. “Might be hard to miss that.”

“Damn! I can’t believe I forgot.” Sam could believe it, actually. He could barely remember his own name when he was with Rebecca. “If she doesn’t drop me immediately after my text, maybe I’ll invite her to Steve’s party instead.”

“That could work. If she’s okay with the whole ‘no soulmark’ thing. And why wouldn’t she be?” Bruce added quickly in response to Sam’s expression. “How much do soulmarks really matter, anyway?”

Sam raised his eyebrows at Bruce. “Uh huh.”

Bruce winced. “Good luck?”

“Thanks,” Sam muttered. He’d most definitely need it.

* * *

“You know I’m not interested in meeting Wilson,” Becca sighed.

Bucky passed her the beer bottle he’d just opened. That metal arm did have its uses. “You don’t have to _meet_ him. Just hang around long enough for him to get back from work. See how it goes from there.”

She, her brother and Steve were sitting on the couches in Steve and Bucky’s apartment. Bucky and Becca had met up after her date with Sam since Bucky needed her help getting Steve a really good present for his birthday that weekend. Even though Steve wasn’t officially her brother-in-law yet, she already loved him like a brother. Making Steve happy was one of her favourite past times. 

And she knew the present Bucky had gotten him would make him very happy, indeed. It was just hard sitting beside him on the couch, pretending she didn’t know anything about it.

“He’s a great guy,” Steve chimed in from his seat on the sofa beside Becca. “He came back early from his family’s Christmas just to spend time with you and Bucky when you were in hospital.”

“So, technically, you’ve already met him.” Bucky took a swig.

“I was asleep! And besides, I’m kind of seeing someone now.” It had been _really hard_ to not blurt everything about Sam to Bucky on their shopping trip. But she’d been there for Bucky, and the day really had been about him and Steve. But now seemed like a good time to share her excitement. 

Steve’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “Oh?”

“Your date with ‘Deep Brown Eyes’ went well, did it?” Bucky grinned at her. “Told ya.”

Steve leaned forward. “So, what’s he like?”

Becca sighed happily. “He’s funny, and kind and really smart…”

“And hot,” Bucky added. “Don’t forget hot.”

Steve shot him a look. “And how would you know?”

“Us Barnes don’t date ugly people,” Bucky smirked. “Lucky for you, Rogers.” 

Becca rolled her eyes at her brother as Steve laughed. “Because looks are _so_ important in a relationship.” Then she thought about the kiss they'd shared and grinned. “Yes, he’s hot. He’s very, very hot.”

“That’s great!” Steve enthused. “Becca, I’m so happy for you!”

“Yeah, it’s great,” Bucky was still grinning. “I told you that you had a soul—“ 

Her phone pinged and Becca scooped it up. “He texted!” 

“What’d he say?” Steve crowded closer. 

Becca read Sam’s text, her eyes widening in delight. “Oh my God! This is amazing!”

“What?” Bucky made a face. “He propose or something?”

“No! Even better!” 

Steve laughed. “Even better than a proposal?”

“He said he doesn’t have any soulmarks!” Becca crowed. “He wanted me to know in case I have them! I’m going to text him right now to tell him I don’t!” Her fingers started flying over the keys.

“Becca?” Steve’s voice held a world of uncertainty. 

“You can’t do that,” Bucky said. 

Becca lowered her phone. “Why not?”

“Because you do have soulmarks,” Bucky said. 

“No I don’t,” Becca said, her smile slipping. “We talked about this already, remember? I lost my soulmarks when they formed. They’re only scars now. I don’t have any.”

“But you do have them,” Steve said. “Even if they’re just scars, they’re there.”

“No.” Becca shook her head. “I don’t know what they say. I couldn’t read them. I won’t ever know what my soulmate’s first words would be…“

“That’s not how it works!” Bucky said heatedly. “If you have soulmarks, you have them! It doesn’t matter if you can read them or not! They’re there!” 

“But—“

“No, Becca!” Bucky was practically shouting. “That’s not how it works! _You’re_ the one who told me that the marks are only there to make it easier for us to recognize our soulmates. _You’re_ the one who said that because our souls know each other we didn’t actually need the marks at all! And you’re the one who told me that I’d find Steve again even though my words had vanished with my arm. That was you!”

“I know what I said,” Becca snapped. “But you knew what your words were already. You’d already _met_ Steve. I’ve never had either one of those things. It’s like my soulmarks never even existed. My soul might know who my soulmate is, but I won’t.” 

“But that’s not true,” Steve said plaintively. “Of course you’ll know. It doesn’t matter if you can read your soulmarks or not. You’ll know.”

“How?” Becca wailed. “I don’t know my words! How will I know?”

“Like Steve and I knew the second and third time we met,” Bucky said. “I didn’t have my words then, but I knew.”

She turned to Steve. “But you knew—“

“I didn’t,” Steve said. “I couldn’t remember what I’d said to Bucky when we first met. It’d been so many years ago. I didn’t have a clue.” 

“But you knew what he said to you.” 

“Yeah.” Steve smiled at Bucky, sweet and intimate. 

“But I also knew it was him before he even spoke that first time,” Bucky said. “Remember that story? I know I told you.” 

Becca nodded.

“Yeah, me too,” Steve said. “When I first saw him sitting on the rocks in the park, the marks on my back suddenly flared with heat. Before he said anything, I knew.”

Becca thought back to her first meeting with Sam and her face crumpled. Her thigh had hurt all right, but only because he’d nearly knocked her down. “I haven’t felt that. Not with him.”

Bucky grimaced in sympathy. “This guy’s not the one, Becca.”

“I’m so sorry,” Steve said.

“It’s okay.” Becca tried to smile. “Better to know now, right?” She wiped at her eyes and stood. “God, your place is so dusty!”

Steve stood as well. “I’ll walk you home.” 

“What about meeting…” Bucky started, then he saw Steve’s expression and stopped. “We’ll both walk you home, ‘kay?” 

“It’s okay,” Becca said. “It’s still light out and home’s not far. I’ll be fine.” She looked at the text Sam had sent her, still waiting for her response and swallowed. Her soulmarks had never flared when they met because he didn’t have any marks of his own. Bucky was right. He wasn’t the one. 

She put her phone back into her purse. She’d text Sam something later, once she figured out how to let him down easy. Only one of them needed to have a broken heart. 

“We’ll walk you,” Steve said. “Please?”

She could never say no to Steve’s big blue eyes. She nodded miserably.

“Thanks,” Steve said like she was doing them a favour. He held the door open for her. “He’s out there,” he said quietly as she went through. “Don’t give up hope, Becca, he’s out there.”

“Thanks.” Her smile was weak. She’d try to believe it.

* * *

“Hey,” Clint said as he bounded into Sam’s room. “I think I got something on my shirt. Can I borrow one of—why are you lying on your bed?”

Sam didn’t even lower his arm from where it was resting across his eyes. “I don’t think I can make it tonight.” 

“But the party’s just on the rooftop patio.” 

Sam sat up wearily. He was still wearing the shorts and t-shirt he’d put on to help Bucky decorate the patio for Steve’s birthday bash. He had meant to hit the shower and put on nicer clothes, but then he’d started thinking about Rebecca and just…hadn’t. “Not sure I’m feeling it tonight.” He sagged forward, head drooping.

“Why not? Are you sick? I can get Steve—“

“I’m not sick,” Sam interrupted. _Heartsick,_ he thought. “I’m just not up for partying tonight.”

“But Steve’s your best friend.” 

Sam sighed. “I know. And I feel bad for doing this, but…”

Clint came and sat beside Sam on his bed. He nudged Sam’s knee with his own. “What's going on?” 

For a split second Sam thought about making up a reason, like telling Clint his mom was unwell, or something had happened at work that really bummed him out. But he’d always prided himself on his honesty. It was what made him a good counsellor and, he hoped, also a good friend. “I texted that girl I was seeing and told her I didn’t have any soulmarks. She never texted me back.” 

“Shit.” Clint winced. “That sucks.”

Sam tilted up one shoulder. “Guess I should’ve expected it. Girl’s got soulmarks and I don’t. Not much point in her hanging with me.” 

“You might still get them,” Clint said.

Sam tilted his shoulder again but didn’t reply.

“You really like her, huh?”

“Yeah. I like her. I like her a lot.” He smiled sadly. “Kinda felt like she might even be my soulmate for a minute there, even though I don’t have one.”

“Wow,” Clint said. “That _really_ sucks.”

“Tell me about it,” Sam sighed. “Makes it hard to get into a party mood.”

“Wow,” Clint said again. “I know how that feels. I mean, not how _you_ feel, but I know how it feels when the love of your life just walks away.”

Sam nodded. He remembered hearing the story of the early days of Clint and Natasha’s relationship, and how she’d fled mere hours after they’d met. He’d been in D.C. with his family when it all went down, but he knew it’d been a rough time. “But she came back.” 

“Yeah.” Clint smiled briefly. “But I didn’t know that when she left. I vowed to myself that I’d spend the rest of my life looking for her, convincing her that I was her soulmate. If that’s what it took.”

“I’m really glad it worked out," Sam said, meaning it. "But it was a little different for you. You both knew you had each other’s marks. You knew you were meant to be together. No matter how scared she was at the beginning, both of you knew it was meant to be. Me and her? We don’t have that. We don’t have anything like that at all.” 

“But you could still go find her,” Clint said. “Maybe talk to her about it? Maybe if she knew how you felt—“ 

“It’s not like that.” Sam tried to keep his tone even. Clint wasn’t trying to piss him off, he just wanted Sam to be happy and Sam needed to remember that before he reacted. “It doesn’t matter how I feel about her. I’m not her soulmate. I’m not _anyone’s_ soulmate. The Universe doesn’t want us to be together.”

Clint’s green eyes were wide and guileless. “Why not?”

“No soulmarks, remember? Soulmarks are that big hint from the Universe that the two of you are meant to be. She and I don’t have that.”

“But you have a connection, don’t you?”

“I thought we did.” Sam sighed again. “Sure felt like we did.”

“So what’s the difference?” Clint asked. “If you had— _have_ —a connection with her, why would you need soulmarks to prove it?” 

“Because…“ Sam paused, thinking about what Clint had just said. “I don’t know.”

“Me neither,” Clint said. “The way I see it, finding the person with your mark is only really the beginning of everything. It still takes a ton of work to make it through the middle so you can get to the end. So your beginning is a little less smooth then some. But you said you have a connection with this girl. That still sounds like a beginning to me.”

Sam absorbed Clint’s words. It reminded him of when Steve had said that he could choose his own destiny. He so badly wanted what Clint and Steve said to be true. “But I don’t have soulmarks. And she does. So what happens if her soulmate shows up when we’re together?”

“Maybe she leaves you, or maybe nothing.” Clint shrugged. “But couldn’t that happen anyway?”

Sam tilted his head. “I guess. But if she’s meant to be with her soulmate—“

“My parents were soulmarked,” Clint cut in. “But they fought all the time. Dad…dad used to hit her. The fact they were soulmates didn’t protect her at all. Sometimes I think it might’ve been better if they’d never found each other.” 

“That’s really rough,” Sam said sympathetically. “And you’re right. I counsel people all the time who’re having trouble in their relationships, and they’re almost always soulmates.” Having soulmarks didn’t make relationships easy, and it certainly didn’t make them _good_. It was true that Rebecca might leave him for her soulmate, but then again, she could leave him anyway. Life was uncertain like that. It didn’t mean he shouldn’t try. “You really think I should go for it?”

“Sure!” Clint beamed at him. “Hey, you remember the map thing that Steve showed us?”

Sam blinked at Clint’s non-sequitur. He thought back to the days before Steve met Bucky, and how they’d all stood in Steve’s room as first Clint, then Steve thought of their soulmarks and then threw darts at a map of the world. It was the way Steve’s mother had learned one could find their soulmate back in Ireland. Steve had found Bucky in Paris, and then Clint had used the same method to track down Natasha after she’d gone missing. For a method based on superstition, it certainly seemed to work. 

“Yeah,” Sam said. “I do. But I don’t have any words, remember?”

“Of course I remember,” Clint said. “We were just talking about that. But I’ve been thinking. Maybe you don’t need a map for this. Maybe Steve’s right, and this thing you’re doing? Maybe it’s a path you get to make all on your own.”

“Holy shit, dude,” Sam said, impressed. “When you get so deep?”

Clint grinned at him. “I’ve got a friend who’s a counsellor at the V.A. I learned some stuff from him.” 

“He sounds pretty smart,” Sam grinned back. 

Clint made puppy-dog eyes at Sam. “So, party?” 

“Yeah, I think I can make Steve’s shindig.” Sam smiled as he stood. “And then tomorrow I’m going to call my girl and convince her that we can make our own destiny.” 

“Right on!” Clint jumped off the bed.

Sam looked at him. He was wearing baggy jeans and a purple t-shirt with a stain on the front. “You’re not wearing that, are you?”

“Not if I’m borrowing your clothes?” Clint grinned endearingly.

Sam chuffed out a laugh. “Take what you like. But leave the grey Henley. I’m wearing that.” 

“In July?” Clint was already searching through Sam’s closet. “You got anything purple in here?”

Sam laughed again. He was continually amazed at Clint’s ability to make everything better. “I love you, bro,” he said.

Clint turned to look at Sam. “I love you, too,” he said seriously. He was holding the grey Henley. 

Sam shook his head, resigned. “Just don’t stain it.” He was still smiling.

* * *

“You look so beautiful.”

Becca looked up from her vanity to see her mother standing in the doorway of her room. 

“Hi mom,” she smiled.

“You’re getting ready for Steve’s party?”

Becca nodded. She’d put on her favourite blue dress that brought out the colour in her eyes, and she’d swept her hair up into a loose bun. She was wearing the dangly gold earrings Bucky had given her for their last birthday, and she knew she looked good. 

It just broke her heart that Sam wouldn’t see her like this.

Her mother frowned. “Why are you sad?” 

“Oh mommy!” Becca ran into her mother’s arms. Her mother held her as she wept onto her shoulder, rubbing her back and murmuring softly in Romanian.

“I hope your mascara is waterproof.” 

Becca snuffled out a laugh as she moved away from her mother and wiped the tears from her face. “I haven’t done my eyes yet.” 

“That’s lucky.” her mother smiled at her. “So Becca-Bunny, what’s wrong?”

The nickname made Becca smile. For as long as she could remember her mother had called her ‘Becca-Bunny’ and her brother ‘Bucky-Bear’ when they’d been upset. It still felt good to hear those nicknames. “I met a boy.”

Her mother raised her eyebrows. “That is always a problem.” 

Becca laughed lightly. “This one’s not a problem, which is the problem. He’s kind and funny, and smart and so handsome…”

“And?”

“He doesn’t have any soulmarks,” Becca blurted.

Her mother tilted her head. “How is that a problem?”

Becca blinked. “Because he doesn’t have any soulmarks?”

“But surely he’ll get some.”

Becca shook her head. “He’s over twenty five. There’s only a three percent chance they’ll appear after twenty five if you don’t’ have them by then.” She might have done some research after she got Sam’s text. Maybe.

“Oh,” her mother said. 

“Yeah,” Becca said glumly. “And at first I was really excited, because I thought I didn’t have soulmarks, either and we’d be a match! But then Bucky and Steve reminded me that I do have them. Even if I can’t read them, they’re there. So no matter how much I like him, he’s not my soulmate. We can’t be together.”

“And you’re _sure_ he’s not your soulmate?”

“How can he be?” Becca practically wailed. “He doesn’t have any marks!”

Her mother looked at her quizzically. “Why does that mean he can’t be your soulmate?”

Becca blinked. “What?”

“In Romania, quite a few people didn’t have soulmarks on the outside of their skin. Their marks were hidden away. Sometimes in very strange places, like under eyelids, or inside their mouths. I remember a neighbour had his words inscribed on one of his ribs. It was found on an autopsy after he was murdered.”

“Oh my God,” Becca winced. “They found it in an _autopsy?_ ”

“Romania was a pretty rough place before the fall of the U.S.S.R.” Her mother shrugged. “It’s one of the many reasons we came to the U.S.”

“So my uncle—the one who died when his soulmarks formed—his story wasn’t so unusual?”

“You mean little Andrei? Unfortunately not. It is the way of the Romanian people that our soulmarks form closer to our hearts.” She smiled broadly. “I personally think it means we love harder and with more passion than anyone else.” 

Becca thought of the passion between Bucky and Steve, and what Bucky had planned for Steve’s birthday that night. “I can see that.”

“So, is this boy Romanian? Or Serbian or Sokovian maybe? It could explain why his soulmarks aren’t visible.”

“He’s African-American,” Becca said. “His name is Sam.” 

“Sam’s a nice name,” her mother said. “And maybe it’s the case for him anyway, that his soulmarks are hidden in his body. Or maybe he truly is one of the very few who don’t have soulmarks at all. I’m not sure it matters.” 

“But I have soulmarks,” Becca repeated. “Illegible and scarred, but they’re there. If he doesn’t have visible marks—or any marks at all—how can we be soulmates?”

“Well, how does it feel when you’re with him?”

Becca couldn’t help her smile. “Like my entire life was in black and white, and now I see in colour.” 

“Oh Becca,” her mother breathed. “You’re in love with this man.” 

“I know.” Becca had known it since the first time they’d met and he stopped her from literally falling at his feet. “But he’s not my soulmate.” 

“But Fate put you in his path,” her mother said. “And Fate is never wrong.”

“But Bucky says—“

Her mother waved her hand dismissively. “Your brother believes he lost his arm because of a decision he made when he was ten years old. What does he know?”

That startled a laugh out of Becca. “You think he’s wrong about that?”

“I _know_ he’s wrong about that.” Her mother smiled sadly. “And one day, pray God, your brother will figure it out too.”

“So you don’t think Sam’s lack of soulmarks is a problem?” Becca couldn’t help the pleading note in her voice. “Truly?”

“Soulmarks just show us on the surface what our souls already know,” her mother said softly. “Becca, when you think of this man, what does your soul tell you?”

“That I love him,” Becca said simply.

“Then be with him.” Her mother smiled. “Trust in Fate. It will all work out.”

Becca embraced her mother again. “Thank you, mommy. Thank you so much.”

“So,” her mother said slyly. “This Sam you found. Is he as handsome as your brother’s Steve?”

“Yes.” Becca grinned. “Maybe even more handsome.” 

“Good,” Her mother said decisively. “Barnes don’t date ugly people.”

Becca burst out laughing.

* * *

By the time Becca had drunk at least two glasses of wine, she was feeling positively bubbly. 

Maybe it was the relief of knowing she could be with Sam, or maybe it was because of the multitude of coloured lights and the fantastic music at Steve's party, or maybe because of what Bucky had planned. Whatever the reason, by the time her second glass of rosé had slipped comfortably down her throat she was brimming with joy.

“Becca!” Clint said happily as he met her by the dance floor. He was wearing a soft grey Henley that did very nice things for his arms. “Want a drink?”

“Thanks.” She beamed at him and held out her empty glass. “I’ve already had two.” 

“Me too.” He showed her his empty beer bottle. “But I think tonight might be a three-drink night.” 

“You make a lot of sense.” 

He grinned at her. “May I escort you to the bar?”

She took his arm, marveling at how firm the muscles were. It reminded her of how strong Sam’s arms felt, which made her miss him, which dimmed her good mood. _I’ll call him tomorrow,_ she promised herself. Tonight was for Steve and Bucky. No sadness allowed. 

Clint leaned over to whisper in her ear. “You excited about tonight?”

She knew he meant what Bucky was going to do. “Yes!” she whispered back. “I helped him plan it.” 

“I thought so. No way Bucky thought of that on his own.”

Becca laughed. “I only chose the music, I swear.”

They reached the bar and Clint signaled the bartender. It was Natasha, and she leaned over to give Clint a quick kiss on the mouth before handing him another beer and Becca another glass of wine. 

“You want any tequila as a chaser?” There was a wicked gleam in Natasha’s eye. 

Clint made a face like he’d just tasted something really bad. “I thought you loved me.”

“I adore you,” she said, and kissed him again. 

Clearly Natasha was a great kisser, and Becca found herself turning away from their enthusiastic display of affection, heart heavy. She wished she could be with Sam like that, without any fear or uncertainty. 

“I will be with him like that!” She muttered to herself fiercely. Her mother said that Fate had put Sam into her path, and her mother was usually right.

“Wanna dance?” Clint said huskily to Natasha. She nodded and he led her away from the bar, walking backwards with that unerring grace he had so he didn’t need to break eye contact. Once again Becca turned away. People with their soulmates were the _worst._

Becca sipped her drink as she faced the makeshift dance floor, her mood slipping further as she watched the happy couples dancing. It was like everyone in the world had a soulmate and she was the only one with awful scars instead.

The music changed to something slow and lovely, and the couples on the dance floor instantly became even more couple-y. Becca would’ve rolled her eyes but then she realized what was happening. She put her newly empty glass down on the bar and moved closer to the floor to watch.

Bucky led Steve out onto the dance floor and gently pulled him into his arms. They started to sway together in time to the music, which was the cue for everyone else to slowly leave the floor, as Bucky had asked them to do when he’d sent out the texted invitations. 

Steve was staring deep into Bucky’s eyes and hadn’t noticed, which was just perfect. Becca clasped her hands in front of her chest in anticipation, her whole attention focussed on her brother and his soulmate.

Just like she'd helped him plan, Bucky gently disengaged from Steve’s arms and dropped down to one knee. There was a collective gasp of delight from the onlookers as they realized what Bucky was doing faster than Steve did. 

Steve’s mouth quirked up in a puzzled smile, and then his jaw dropped as Bucky presented him with a small, square box. 

“Steve.” Bucky cleared his throat and tried again. “Steve, I met you when I was ten, but I was just a stupid kid and I let you get away. Fate brought us back together not once, but twice. And I’m never gonna let you go again. You’re my soulmate, and the love of my life, and I don’t know how I lived those twelve years without you, because I swear you’ve always had my heart. So, Steven Grant Rogers, will you marry me?”

Steve was crying, the tears on his face reflecting the coloured lights around the dance floor. “Yes,” he said, smiling and tearful all at once. “Yes, Bucky, absolutely yes!” 

Their friends roared their approval as Steve hauled Bucky to his feet and kissed him passionately. 

Becca cheered with the rest of the crowd, so happy for her brother and Steve. All the same, she was unable to ignore the wistful feeling of longing that settled in her heart. 

Someone was cheering and clapping wildly beside her and before Becca could dart away his elbow smacked her in the face, right below her eye.

“Ow!”

“Sorry!” he exclaimed immediately, then grabbed her shoulders to keep her from falling.

Becca’s thigh flared with a heat that was almost painful. “Sam?”

“Rebecca?” Sam gaped. “What are you doing here?”

“My brother just got engaged!” 

He kept gaping. “Your brother?”

“Yeah. Bucky.”

“Holy shit,” Sam said. “You’re Becca Barnes.” 

Becca blinked. “We’ve never told each other our last names, have we?”

“No, we haven’t,” he said. “I’m Sam Wilson.” 

Becca’s jaw dropped. “Sam _Wilson?_ The guy my brother’s been trying to set me up with _forever?_ ”

“Yeah.” He grinned. “Hard to believe, huh?”

“No, it’s not!” Becca said quickly, realizing it. “Bucky wanted us to meet, and I kept saying ‘no,’ but we still met. It was Fate, Sam, Fate! We’re meant to be together.” It was like everything had just suddenly _clicked._ Her mother had been right all along.

“But what about the fact that I don’t have soulmarks?” Sam asked. He slid his hands down her arms until he was holding her hands, looking both hopeful and afraid. “What happens when you find the man who says your words?”

“We were meant to meet, Sam,” Becca said with all the new conviction she felt. “And even if we weren’t…well, I don’t think I care.”

“You don’t care? Your soulmate might still be out there, Rebecca," Sam said earnestly. "You sure you want to take a chance on me?”

Becca took a breath. “I love you, Sam—and it’s probably way too early to say that, but I’ve had a couple glasses of wine so I’m just going for it. I love you, and I don’t want anyone else. I don’t care if you’re not my soulmate. I love you.”

Sam was grinning so broadly that his teeth glowed with speckles of coloured lights. “I love you too, Rebecca. And I want to be with you. Only you. Soulmarks be damned.”

Becca beamed at him, excitement and happiness making her feel like she was floating. She glanced over to the dance floor, where her brother and Steve were finishing their dance, surrounded by well-wishers. Neither one of them had stopped smiling. She knew exactly how that felt.

She turned back to Sam, and he swallowed hard. “Damn, you’re beautiful.” 

“You’re pretty beautiful yourself.” 

He grinned again, moving his hands to her waist. He leaned in and kissed her.

It was just as amazing as the first time they kissed. Maybe better, because this time her toes weren’t hurting from where he’d stepped on them. This time it was only her thigh that flared as his mouth moved over hers. 

“Ow!” Becca instinctively put her hand over the spot. She could feel the puckered skin of her scars beneath the thin cloth of her dress. It was her marks. Her _soulmarks_ were blazing.

“Sorry!” Sam said, and her leg burned again, making her gasp. He looked at her in concern. “You okay?”

Becca nodded, eyes wide. “Say ‘sorry’ again.” 

He blinked. “What?”

“Say it again!” she commanded.

“Sorry?” 

Once again she felt that strange almost-pain in her thigh, just where her soulmarks should have been. “Oh my God,” she breathed. “Sam, you said my words.”

“I did?” 

“Yes! Oh my God, yes!” She clapped her hands. “You’re my soulmate!” 

“I am?” His beautiful brown eyes were enormous with confusion and hope. “I mean, I don’t have soulmarks, so how could we be soulmates?”

Instead of answering, she kissed him again.

* * *

“Sam?” Steve said.

“ _Becca?_ ” Bucky screeched. “Why are you kissing Wilson?”

Clearly the engagement dance was over. Gently Sam disengaged his mouth from his soulmates'. His _soulmate._ Damn, that was never going to get old.

“What is this?” Bucky was still ranting. “I leave you alone for _one minute_ and you end up kissing Wilson?”

Rebecca glared at him. “Firstly, not a child. Secondly, Sam and I have been seeing each other for a while.”

‘For a while,’ was probably stretching it a little. He and Rebecca had only gone out on one real date after all, but there was no way Sam was going to argue. 

“Wait, is _Sam_ the guy you were talking about?” Steve asked.

"This is 'Deep Brown Eyes'?" Bucky demanded.

“You were talking about me?” Sam grinned at her.

“Why didn’t you _say_ it was Sam you were dating?” Bucky said. 

“Because I didn’t know it was _your_ Sam,” Rebecca said. “When you said we should meet you’ve only called him Wilson.” 

Bucky looked at Steve. “Did we do that?”

Steve shrugged. “I guess?”

“But…" Bucky lowered his voice. “Sam, you don’t have any soulmarks.” 

“She knows,” Sam said, just as Rebecca said: “I know.”

“But, what about your marks, Becca?” Bucky asked. “Don’t you want to find your soulmate?”

“I thought you wanted me to go out with Sam!”

“I did, and I do!” Bucky insisted, “But I just…“ He dropped his gaze. “I just don’t want you to be hurt.”

Rebecca put her hand on her brother’s arm. “I love you Bucky, but my life is my own. And if I want to risk a broken heart, I will. Okay?”

Bucky smiled a little, nodding. “Okay, I guess.” 

“Besides.” And now Rebecca’s eyes had a wicked gleam in them. “He’s my soulmate.” 

Bucky stared at her. “ _What?_ ” 

Steve beamed. “He is? Becca, Sam! That’s great!” 

“What?” Bucky said again. “But how?”

“He said my words,” Rebecca said. “Or word, I guess. My soulmark says ‘sorry,’ and Sam said it.”

“So it is a ‘y’ at the end there!” Bucky smirked. “Called it.”

“How about you, Sam? Do you have Becca’s words anywhere?”

Sam shrugged as he answered Steve. “Maybe? I haven’t really felt anything…“ He frowned. “Ow.”

“Ow?” Rebecca repeated. 

“Yeah. Every time you said ‘ow,’ I said sorry, right? That’s got to be my mark!” 

“Holy shit,” Bucky said. “Clint was right. We need to shave your head.” 

“No we don't!” Rebecca pulled Bucky into a hug. “We need to say congratulations on your engagement! I’m so happy for you two!” They hugged warmly and then Rebecca went to Steve. 

Bucky embraced Sam. “If you hurt her,” He whispered into Sam’s ear, “I will use this metal arm on you in ways that Stark never intended.” 

Sam laughed. “That’s a way better shovel talk than what I gave you for Steve.” 

Bucky laughed with him, but then his expression became deadly serious. “I’m not joking.”

"Sorry?" Sam took a step back, squarely onto Becca's foot. 

“Ow!” 

The inside of Sam's lip burned. He paused and poked it with his tongue. “Guys?” he said. “I think I found it.” 

Rebecca, Steve and Bucky all looked at him, and then all three of them tried to grab his lips at once.

“Whoa!” He held up his hands. “Rebecca, why don’t you do the honours? It's my bottom lip, I think.”

Gently, Rebecca turned down his bottom lip. “You’ve got ‘ow’ written in small capital letters on an angle just right of centre. Sam,” Her eyes filled with tears even as she laughed. “You’re my soulmate.” 

"Yes I am," he said, voice rough. He'd never needed a mark to prove it. “I love you.” 

“I love you,” she whispered back.

“And I just threw up in my mouth a little bit,” Bucky said. “Come on fiancé, you need to get me a drink.” 

“Fiancé.” Steve grinned as Bucky took his hand and dragged him towards the bar. “I like the sound of that.” 

Sam barely noticed them go. “Hi, soulmate.”

“Hi.” She bit her bottom lip. 

Sam cleared his throat, overwhelmed by everything he was feeling. Just today he’d been thinking that Fate was against him, that he’d be loveless forever. And yet here he was, with the one person in the whole universe that was meant for him. “I can’t believe I found you.” Gently, he touched her face.

Right on the tender spot where he'd smacked her with his elbow.

“Ow!” she cried. 

“Sorry!” he said quickly. 

She laughed, and kissed him again.

END


End file.
